You're dead? (Part 2)

 I don't know how much longer I will be a pastor, but I know that I'm not alone in that mindset. There have been many studies that I could find if I felt led to do so that have found sizable percentages of pastors as lonely, worried about the future, concerned for the spiritual health and vitality of their congregations, and sometimes worried about their congregation's physical health (whether they'll exist much longer as a local church). Chances are there are hundreds of pastors checking out employment ads, considering resignation for whatever reason, or simply fed up with much going on in the local churches they are privileged to serve.

But what if the worry has more to do with a moral failure?

A prominent megachurch pastor in the St. Louis Metro area had a secret sin come out in the open: adultery. It took a while for him to step down, with the elders seemingly wanting to go through a private disciplinary process. But the rumor mills eventually took over (plus lots of other stuff I don't know about), and he was forced to step down, or fired outright (I don't remember). He eventually got to be restored as a teaching pastor at another church, and began teaching some controversial stuff (like Enneagram personality tests). Several years later the religious press of that denomination announced that he died. As I dug into St. Louis sources (including my father), I heard the news that he died by a self-inflicted gunshot wound while shooting at a gun range. At first, I thought it was an accident, but it made no sense to me about it happening at a gun range. Do people actually shoot themselves to death at gun ranges? -- Eventually, sources clarified the shooting a suicide. He left behind four children and a bunch of people who continued to loved him.

About a decade ago, the bottom fell out of an online dating site known as Ashley Madison; a site parading itself as a safe place for married men and women who desire to cheat on their spouses. When the account list came out in the open, what a shock to discover over 90% of the account holders as men. Most of the females were figments of Ashley Madison employee's imaginations! -- Very few prominent pastors and Christian leaders were leaked as being on the list (with probably half of them confessing before the list became public). One of those men happened to be a widower, and he set up an account with AM after his wife passed away. I thought that was weird, and I felt more sorry for him than anything. -- However, other not-so-prominent pastors found their way having to confess or be discovered (which I believe still wasn't a lot, but significant enough). One of those men in the southern US chose to take his life to keep from the "consequences" of it all. -- Think about it: the women were mostly fabricated. He certainly committed adultery in his heart (who hasn't?), but he nearly certainly didn't have a chance to follow through with it via AM.

It's been a long time since a nation executed anyone over mere adultery. The man caught on AM surely would have suffered consequences for that action, but it would have fallen far short of death (probably no criminal charge filed at all). Then Darrin Patrick (the megachurch pastor caught in adultery) certainly continued to deal with the consequences of his transgressions. Since he was a public figure in the St. Louis area, some information about his disciplinary process was released to the press; and although I question his restoration back into ministry, what happened is far from rare in the American church these days. I wonder if anyone of his colleagues or friendship circles was concerned for him. Concerned enough to severely limit his gun range use? Good chance they weren't, it just happened.

Sometimes you simply don't know why.