You're dead?

You're dead?

What is suicide?

Suicide is escape.

    But how effective is such an escape?

Perhaps escape from consequences?

    But suffering the worst kind of consequence imaginable.

Escape from responsibility, maybe?

    But too often redirecting it.

Escape from perceived judgment?

    But not escape from ultimate judgment.

Escape from failure, supposedly?

    But the worst kind of failure imaginable.

    And what if you fail to die? Then what?

But if you succeed...

Suicide is permanent.

    No mulligans.

    No mostly dead (this ain't the movies).

You leave behind a multitude of victims.

    Your friends (even well into the past)

    Your family (even the ones haven't spoken to you in years--especially them)

    Your co-workers (even the ones who seem to hate you, but probably don't)

    Your church (even the ones who look at you disapprovingly)

    Your neighbors (even the ones who avoid you)

    The virtual stranger running that cash register (even if seemingly uninterested)

    The letter carrier (even if you've never said "hi")

Worst? You're dead.

    

A well-known Christian charity in Oklahoma had a president who took his life before he was about to be arrested for child molestation. I don't remember the details of the allegations, but I know a former colleague of mine (from a separated entity) who was a trustee in that organization supposedly gave him the head's up. I've always wondered if he regretted doing that (assuming he did). I've also wondered what would have happened to the fellow? It's easy to assume that he was guilty since he offed himself, but you never truly know what was going through that guy's mind that caused him to end it all. Religious leaders accused of sexual assault of a minor are guilty, regardless of actual guilt (so it seems). 

Even if he was truly guilty, what a waste. Second worst thing (if guilty)? His victims will never receive justice.

    But still, the worst? He's dead.

Had a friend from high school and junior college who committed suicide about 20 years ago. I heard about it several years after the fact. We lost track of each other when we transferred to other schools, and our paths diverged greatly. Nevertheless, I still miss him. It may be weird and even hypocritical of me to say that. I've no clue if he got himself in a bunch of trouble of some kind, or just got incredibly lonely, or something else or both. Still, I've talked to a few of his friends from years before who wished they could have had even five more minutes to talk with him. Would it have been enough? We'll never know.

    Regardless of whatever issue troubling him, the worst? He's dead.

I'll write more, but maybe in another blog.